Not Sure…

I feel weird posting this, but I have to get it off my chest. If you don’t want to read a rant, then please stop reading now!

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I began my new job in early March. I have been loving it, and it is so fun being a waitress. We have been moving staff in and out recently, seeing as some people were in the kitchen working until we got on our feet, and then they were going to be replaced.

Enter Carrie.

I had been chatting with Carrie for some time, and I found out he was a pastor. Naively, I assumed that this meant he was a wholesome man. Probably married, with children. I pictured him having a parish and leading a wholesome life as a pastor. This made me trust him, which I now see was presumptuous and silly of me.

Yesterday (Saturday), as I was leaving work and walking to my car, he snuck out of the kitchen and called me back up onto the porch. He proceeded to ask me out on a date, to which I said I was flattered, but no thank you.

This morning, the first thing he did as I walked into the kitchen (before I even sat my purse down) was put his hand up to the side of his face and mouth the words “Call me, TONIGHT” in front of everyone. I mouthed back that I had a boyfriend, and wasn’t interested. I thought, “that will be the end of that, he knows how I feel about it now so he will back off”. Another naive notion.

Throughout the day, he made condescending, snide and sneaky comments to me, and I feel extremely uncomfortable working there now. He even put his hand on my waist and across my back, which was sort of the breaking point for me. I had to take a deep breath every time I entered or left the kitchen just to keep myself calm or from crying.

I feel violated, but I also don’t want to cost the man his job by complaining to the boss.

Should I complain anyway, or should I make another attempt to let him know how I feel, and if he ignores it again should I go to the boss?

I feel ashamed of myself for not speaking up more bluntly, or standing up for myself more forcefully.

Somehow I feel like I’ve done something wrong in all of this.

Has anyone else ever dealt with something like this? Whether or not you have,

I would really love any advice. I feel really lost right now.